One year ago, I was in the ICU. It started subtle enough, a cold that progressed further and, when I couldn’t handle it, went to my doctor who diagnosed me with bronchitis. Little did we know that it was worse than that. A few days later, I couldn’t sleep and felt worse and asked to be taken to the Emergency Room. The last thing I remember, on January 31, 2008, was how brusque the receptionist was.

I was in sepsis. I needed dialysis, had a central venous catheter, I was intubated and, for fear I would use up valuable energy, was under a medically induced coma. All of February 2008 was spent in the ICU. There were moments I was cognizant, but I can’t remember those moments. When the medication to keep me under was fully gone from my system, I remember insanely early morning x-ray visits to ensure my lungs were free of liquid, I remember the daily dialysis to clean my blood, I remember the breathing tube, which made vocal communication impossible. I was told that I went into Code Blue twice. I was extubated, but needed to be intubated again when I relapsed. I needed regular infusions of platelets.

Back then, it was a big deal and I feared I wouldn’t get out of the hospital but now, it’s a wonder. As if it was some tv show and I really didn’t go through it all. The doctors still do not know for certain what caused my condition. A few think it was my gallbladder and others think it was a viral infection. In any case, I recovered and around mid-March I went to a rehabilitation hospital for a week to rebuild a bit of muscle, strength and stamina. Afterwards, I visited a rehab center a few days a week to further train, but I was able to go home. I needed to use a walker to move about and then graduated to a cane, then eventually, walked on my own.

The ordeal had me thinking of the things we take for granted when we are well. The simple act of drinking water or going to the bathroom without assistance. While I was still at the first hospital, but recovering, I needed to undergo a test to verify I could consume solid food and drink liquid without any of it going down the wrong pipe. I passed spectacularly because I wanted to drink water. I remember having a difficult time one night because I felt thirsty; my body craving liquid. Prior to the test, I was spoiled with ice chips and those were a godsend.

I really have to thank my family, friends and the hospital staff that, not only saved my life, but also got me through the craziness when I began to sink into depression. My parents took shifts, one stayed during the day while the other stayed during the night. Aunties and uncles and my grandparents visited often. Co-workers came to visit also. I expected to rethink my life and change things. Until recently, however, I fell into step of my old life. Now, I am constantly reminding myself that nothing I’m experiencing now equals what I went through. I have begun to exercise not only my body, but also my mind. For the body, I’m starting off slow with walking. Then I hope to add more and start jogging. To exercise my mind, I’ve begun reading more, starting on my Super Sekret Project and to commit to writing more diligently. I am, of course, also gaming. I love video games and won’t give that up.

I am, finally, beginning to look to the future and decide exactly what I want to do with my life. This has brought doubts into my mind that my current employment will get me to my goals, but before I do anything, I’ll be evaluating my options. Make something that’s current work, then try something new.

I want to see Japan, and if things work out, I will in August-ish. I want to do more traveling in general, but need to address other things first.

Life really is too short to get caught up. Live every moment.

This holds especially true for me because I was given a second chance (many of the doctors I saw said it was a miracle that I recovered). All those green mushrooms paid off.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 2, 2009 at 11:21 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.